Stargate Rock
by Josephus Prime
Summary: A Musical tribute to the greatest Series ever.


DISCLAIMER: I DON'T WON EITHER OF TH STARGATE SERIES, BUT I'M ONE HEELUVA GATER. DEM TREKKIES AIN'T GOT SHIT ON US!!!

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_Scene: A large ballroom in Atlantis. Sg-1 and nearly everyone from every episode of both series, alive or dead, is there (save for Col. Mitchell and Jonas Quinn), be they allies or enemies. Everyone is busy chatting and laughing away. Suddenly, the lights go down and spotlights focus on the Stage. The talk dies away and Sgt. Siler walks on stage from behind the station, all dressed up._

**Siler: **Ladies and Gentlemen, it is with great pleasure and honor that I have been given the opportunity to introduce tonight, for alls entertainment…Joseph of the Furlings!!!

_The crowd begins to cheer as Siler walks backstage. The curtains go up and a blonde-haired boy with Fox Ears and a Fox tail dressed in an outfit not unlike those of the Blues Brothers walk onstage. Behind him is a band. Siler takes position with his trombone. Mitchell and Jonas are both in outfits similar to Joe's. Mitchell is holding a red Stratocaster and Jonas has an Electric Bass. Joe smiles and addresses the crowd._

**Joe: **Greetings to my fellow Gaters! Ten years ago, the Tauri began a program that harnessed the greatest idea in the universe-uh, no offense to the Replicators, what you can do pretty cool (_Everyone laughs, camera gets a close up on multiple human form Replicators who are laughing along with everyone, Seven bug-forms are sitting on a refreshments table, mutely chanting on an eighth who is madly chugging beer, he falls backwards off the table._) No, I mean the tool that without which, none of us would be here…the Stargate. Now, I've got a bit of a song for them, and so, in reverence, I redid a favorite song of mine to suit this occasion. Some Tauri may be familiar with it, but I hope you all enjoy it. (_Turns to the Band_) HIT IT, BOYS AND GIRLS!!!

_Band begins to play Jailhouse rock. There are multiple cheers. Joe grabs the mike and begins to sing._

**Joe: **General Landry threw a party for the SGC  
The Tokra were there and they began to sing  
Atlantis was was jumping and the place began to swing  
You should have heard those knocked out personnel sing:

Let's rock  
Everybody lets rock  
Everybody 'round these goddamn rocks  
Was dancing to the Stargate rock

**Joe: **We got Doctor McKay on tenor saxophone  
Sgt. Siler was blowin on the slide trombone  
The folks from Kelowna went crash boom bang  
The whole rhythm section was the Asgard gang!

_Everything stops as Gate suddenly dials. Everyone steps back. Out of the gate…steps the Ancients. Everyone is silent. And then, the lead ancient breaks the silence:_

**Lead Ancient: **What? Being Ascended doesn't mean we can't be party Animals, am I right!?!

_Everyone laughs and applauds as the music picks up again_.

Let's rock  
Everybody lets rock  
Everybody round these goddamn rocks  
They was dancing to the Stargate rock

Well Vala said to Doctor D,  
"You're the cutest Tauri I ever did see  
I'd sure be delighted with your company  
Come on and do the Stargate rock with me!"

_Camera sees Daniel Jackson and Vala sitting together, Vala looking extremely happy at the opportunity to get Daniel to Dance. Daniel looks shocked._

**Daniel**: "Doctor D"!?!

**Vala** (Grabbing his arm and pulling him out on the floor): Oh, C'mon Daniel! I want to try this "Stargate Rock"!!!

**Daniel**: But I can't da-WOAH!!! (Gets pulled away by Vala)

**Joe: **Let's rock  
everybody lets rock  
everybody round these goddamn rocks  
they were dancing to the Stargate Rock  
KICK IT, ME BOYS!!!!

_Joe steps back as Mitchell and Jonas do separate solos Camera Moves to see Colonel O'Neill and Colonel Carter dancing. Several Jaffa along with Lord Yu and Baal are doing the Train in the background; Teal'c, Ry'ac, and Bra'tac in the lead._

**Carter:** I never knew you could dance, sir!

**O'Neill**: You never asked.

_Carter giggles as they continue. Camera sees Jacob Carter doing the Worm in the background._

**Mitchell: **Oh, Apophis was sittin on a block of stone  
Way over in the corner weepin all alone  
**Jonas:** O'Neill said "Hey buddy dont you be no square  
If you cant find a partner use a wooden chair!"  
_  
_

**Everyone present: **LETS ROCK!!

EVERYBODY LETS ROCK!

EVERYBODY ROUND THESE GODDAMN ROCKS

C'MON AND DANCE TO THE STARGATE ROCK!!!

_  
__Camera zooms out slowly during the last segment, we see Atlantis shining against the night sky. Fireworks are arcing across the sky as spotlights shoot up into the sky. The camera zooms out further so we see the whole planet. It is surrounded by ships of all kinds. We zoom in on an Asgard research ship. The song is playing through an archaic record player. We see Thor dancing disco alone, back to the camera as it slowly zooms on his head and shoulders. He is signing as the camera zooms in._

**Thor: **They were dancing to the Stargate rock…  
They was dancing to the Stargate rock…  
They was dancing to the Stargate rock…  
They was dancing to the Stargate rock…  
Everybody round these goddamn rock  
They was dancing to the Stargate rock…

(_He suddenly stops, slowly turns, and stands normally as he notices the Camera. He blinks. Then he shrugs and makes the simple statement_...)

**Thor:** What?

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GODBLESS THE ASGARD, GODBLESS ALL GATE FANS, GODBLESS THE STARGATE SERIES, AND GODBLESS MY READERS!!! THANK YOU AND GOODNIGHT!!! 


End file.
